'Boogeyman' (PG-13)
Anyone remember this from 2005? Heck...I remember seeing this in the theater. 'Boogeyman' follows Tim (Barry Watson) as he confronts childhood terror that has affected him ever since. Co-starring Emily Deschanel and Lucy Lawless, this movie is just a series of jump scares. No real tension or even anything resembling an atmosphere of dread. Sure I jumped in my seat when I saw this in the theater, but that's more because of a loud noise. At least watching this in the theater it made me jump because of the surround sound. Watching it at a friend's house several months later was a bit of a drag.
Five college students rent a cabin in the woods for a weekend of drugs, sex, booze, and friendship...but mostly drugs, sex and booze. But soon after a run-in with a stranger, they begin to fall victim to a flesh-eating virus. Stuff we've all seen before, and it doesn't do anything new with it. Not only is it not scary, but it's also badly written and acted. And of course a remake for this has been announced...which speaking of remakes...
'Friday The 13th' (R)
...oh yes. The 'Friday The 13th' remake. Two groups of teenagers at different points in time decide to vacation at Crystal Lake and soon are discovered by a murderous Jason Voorhees, who was thought to have drowned thirty years earlier. Really instead of a remake it could've been called a sequel since the opening five minutes of this movie is the same as the final five minutes of the original movie. And then it divulges into 'Friday The 13th's Greatest Hits - The Porn Version!' as it combines elements from several of the sequels, and contains a lot of sex and nudity. LOTS. Sure, I didn't like the original 'Friday The 13th' all that much, but it's an Oscar winner compared to this poorly acted, poorly written, and overall poorly made sorry excuse of a movie. And low and behold, it has been announced that 'Friday The 13th' will be remade again sometime within the next few years.
...oh yes. The 'Friday The 13th' remake. Two groups of teenagers at different points in time decide to vacation at Crystal Lake and soon are discovered by a murderous Jason Voorhees, who was thought to have drowned thirty years earlier. Really instead of a remake it could've been called a sequel since the opening five minutes of this movie is the same as the final five minutes of the original movie. And then it divulges into 'Friday The 13th's Greatest Hits - The Porn Version!' as it combines elements from several of the sequels, and contains a lot of sex and nudity. LOTS. Sure, I didn't like the original 'Friday The 13th' all that much, but it's an Oscar winner compared to this poorly acted, poorly written, and overall poorly made sorry excuse of a movie. And low and behold, it has been announced that 'Friday The 13th' will be remade again sometime within the next few years.
And now for another pointless remake. Rob Zombie's 'Halloween'. After being locked away in a mental institution ever since he was ten years old, a grown up Michael Myers (Tyler Mane) escapes and returns to Haddonfield to find/kill his baby sister Laurie (Scout Taylor-Compton). Malcolm McDowell co-stars as Dr. Loomis, who is trying to track down Michael. Unlike the original, this explores Michael's childhood with a (little) bit more detail, in that Michael had just always been this strange kid from an extremely dysfunctional white trash family. Well, I'll give it this: Rob Zombie indeed put his own spin on the story. It's not a very good spin on it, makes the story less scary, and it makes for a horrible movie, but gotta give some credit where some credit is due. Speaking of adding more details into the origins of a character and making it less scary...
'Hannibal Rising' (R)
After the death of his parents during World War II, a young Hannibal Lector (Gaspard Ulliel), moves in with his aunt (Gong Li), and plots revenge against the soldiers that killed his sister. This by far is the worst prequel I have ever seen. Yes, the acting is wildly uneven, it's not very well written, it's too long, not scary or creepy at all, and features numerous unnecessary subplots and nods to the previous films in the series, but worst of all it betrays the central character. Never once in this movie did I believe that this whiny, bratty twentysomething would eventually become the cold, calculated cannibal as played by Anthony Hopkins. If you want a prequel to 'Silence of the Lambs' that's actually worth watching and stays true to the character, watch 'Red Dragon'. Or watch the 1980's movie 'Manhunter', which is also an adaptation of 'Red Dragon'.
After the death of his parents during World War II, a young Hannibal Lector (Gaspard Ulliel), moves in with his aunt (Gong Li), and plots revenge against the soldiers that killed his sister. This by far is the worst prequel I have ever seen. Yes, the acting is wildly uneven, it's not very well written, it's too long, not scary or creepy at all, and features numerous unnecessary subplots and nods to the previous films in the series, but worst of all it betrays the central character. Never once in this movie did I believe that this whiny, bratty twentysomething would eventually become the cold, calculated cannibal as played by Anthony Hopkins. If you want a prequel to 'Silence of the Lambs' that's actually worth watching and stays true to the character, watch 'Red Dragon'. Or watch the 1980's movie 'Manhunter', which is also an adaptation of 'Red Dragon'.
I reviewed this earlier in the year. It's a spin-off (but really a sequel) that basically is the first 'Paranormal Activity' crossed with 'Chronicle'...only nowhere near as good as those movies. This franchise gets worse and worse. But I will give it some credit: It is better than 'Paranormal Activity 4' in that it actually advances the story and overall mythology of the series. And it does feature some ridiculously awesome moments like having a character use a shot gun to blast away witches.
Six months after the events of the 2002 surprise hit American remake of a Japanese horror movie, Rachel (Naomi Watts) stumbles upon more instances of the creepy videotape killing people and discovers that her son Aidan (David Dorfman) is also continuing to be affected by the videotape. This also explores more of the origins of Samara, the creepy girl from the videotape and on the poster above. I'll talk more about the 2002 movie later this week, but this sequel just doesn't work at all. Not creepy, not a very good story, and ultimately I just didn't care about what was going on.
So there's my first list of Halloween movies this week. Any horror movies or horror comedies that you felt were sub-par or were just flat-out terrible?
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