REVIEW - 'Epic'

I saw this with my family on Memorial Day but I purposely waited a few days to type this up so that I could get my thoughts in order and let things settle a bit in regards to how I felt about it.  But now that a few days have passed...


'Epic' (PG) **

A teenager is transported to a deep forest setting where a battle between the forces of good and the forces of evil is taking place. She bands together with a rag-tag group characters in order to save their world -- and ours.  From the makers of 'Ice Age', 'Robots', and 'Rio', this features the voices of Amanda Seyfried, SNL's Jason Sudeikis, Colin Farrel, Josh Hutcherson (Hunger Games), rapper Pitbull, Aziz Ansari, Chris O'Dowd (the Irish cop in 'Bridesmaids'), Beyonce, Aerosmith's Steven Tyler and two-time Academy Award winner Christoph Waltz (Inglourious Basterds, Django Unchained).

Put 'FernGully', 'Avatar', and 'Honey I Shrunk The Kids' into a blender on high speed and the resulting mixture is this movie.  Apparently this is based on a book called The Leafmen and the Brave Good Bugs by William Joyce, who not only co-wrote the movie but also wrote the book series The Guardians of Childhood, on which the movie 'Rise of the Guardians' is based off of (which he co-wrote as well).  Having not read the book, I can't say if it's a fair adaptation or not. 

Now, with that out of the way, what are some positives about the movie?  Visually, this movie is great.  It's bright and colorful, and extremely well detailed.  Honestly it's some of the best things I've seen computer animation-wise this year since the China doll in 'Oz' and the bright and colorful prehistoric world of 'The Croods'.  It's relatively fast paced and it's a simple, familiar story.  Some of it is funny and cute with much of that coming from the antics of a three-legged dog, but we'll go more into that later on.  Chris O'Dowd's snail character has some funny moments, though his buddy does not but I'll go into that later. 

But now for what I didn't like.  Aziz Ansari as the slug, which is the snail's buddy.  It could be the fact that I don't really think Aziz Ansari is all that funny to begin with, but his slug character I thought was very irritating and almost ruined the movie.  Jason Sudeikis is funny on SNL, but I didn't think his bumbling antics were that funny in this.  But humor is subjective. 

Some parts of the movie were awfully rushed and not explained very well and others took their time.  The main example I can think of is how Amanda Seyfried's character seems to respond to the events in the movie.  Her character gets shrunk and soon discovers that the mini forest people that her absent-minded and hardly ever there father (Jason Sudeikis) actually do exist.  Not only does being shrunk not really faze her at all, but she also fits right in with the Leafmen (or whatever they're called) and is always willing to help.  Sure her main goal is just to help out so that she could go home, but my thing is that she's taking these events awfully well.  Steven Tyler's ever-so-wise caterpillar character sings a song at one point in the movie, and it's grating and distracting.  I was already aware that it was Steven Tyler providing a voice for the character - no need to rub it in that he happens to be a singer in real life.   The movie itself is kinda forgettable.  I saw it, I left the theater when it was over, and was still very irritated with the snail character and every other comic relief moment that didn't work and left me frustrated.  I mean I did chuckle some times, but many of the comic relief moments I didn't really laugh or chuckle at.

Now I saw this in 2D.  That was all they had at the theater that my family and I saw it in.   Since it's an animated movie it probably would be great to watch in 3D as well and wouldn't feel like you're watching a 2D movie with funny looking glasses. 

Overall, while it does have truly great animation and it's an okay enough story with some funny parts, it does feel rushed at times, is a little distracting with who is voicing what, and certain characters attempts at comic relief or quirkiness come off as grating instead of funny.

REVIEW - 'The Hangover Part III'

"The Hangover Part III" **
The Wolfpack is back and once again shenanigans happen that are out of their control.  This time around, Alan (Zach Galifianakis) is being taken to a rehab facility in Arizona by Phil (Bradley Cooper), Stu (Ed Helms) and Doug (Justin Bartha) after recent incidents involving his father's funeral and a giraffe.  But along the way to Arizona the 'Wolf Pack' is run off the road and taken hostage by Marshall (John Goodman).  Taking Doug as collateral, he gives the rest an ultimatum:  Find Leslie Chow (Ken Jeong) or Doug dies.  Why Chow?  Because he stole $21 million in gold bars from Marshall after a heist, and he wants it back and wants Chow dead.  This includes stops in Tijuana and Las Vegas, and cameos from Heather Graham as the now ex-escort/stripper Jade from the first movie and 'Bridesmaids' Melissa McCarthy as Alan's love interest. 

Well, the main positive here is that at least it is different than the other movies.  Part II was practically a carbon copy of the first movie (with some minor, darker variations) so it is nice to see something different.  But at the same time, it strays from raunchy comedy to a semi-serious crime thriller with dashes of comedy thrown in every now and then.  Now I did chuckle every now and then and laughed out loud once, but most of the time I was just kinda watching it silent in my seat as the movie went darker and more serious and wasn't playing the dark twists for laughs.  I don't mind dark humor, I just didn't think it was done very well in this movie.  I guess the only other positive I can think of is John Goodman as the main villain Marshall.  He's fairly good and intimidating and but it does feel like he's from a completely different movie.

Now comparing it to the others, well, it's definitely the least of the three.  'The Hangover' was funny and for the most part unpredictable and crazy.  'The Hangover Part II' took the 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it' approach and as stated earlier was a carbon copy of the first movie with minor, darker variations of certain events.  I did laugh every now and then but the more and more it resembled the first movie the less and less I liked it.  A funny scene during the end credits of Part III does tease a possible Part IV, but I'm pretty sure that Part III is last call for the 'Hangover' Trilogy. 

Overall, I did chuckle every now and then but it does take itself a little too seriously for the most part. Do I recommend it?  Well, if you're REALLY INTERESTED in seeing how the trilogy ends, you might as well go see it.  If you disliked the other movies, you'll dislike this one.  Or if you're bored and want to sit in an air conditioned theater for 2 hours.......go see 'Star Trek Into Darkness'.  Or 'Furious 6'.  I only saw it to finish up the trilogy, so take that however you want. 

One Liners

Throughout the school year I'd post one-liners on my dorm room door wipe off board.  Why?  Well, why not?  I got inspiration for doing that from a TV show on ESPN that I occasionally watch, but that will be discussed in a different post.  Humor is an important aspect of life.  Allowing us to laugh, relieve stress, relax, enjoy ourselves, take our mind off of things, make us smile (or in some cases groan).  It's a very subjective topic.  What I find funny someone else might think is not funny at all, and vice versa.  Anyway, with that aside, here is 50 of the one-liners that at some point throughout the past two school years has went up on the board.  I usually will Google search 'funny one liners' to find them, and I've used a few different sources so 98% of these are NOT original at all.  Only one of them I actually made up on my own, and that one is marked with an asterisk.

1.  Politicians and diapers should both be changed often, and for the same reason.
2.  I always thought that by 2013 we would have flying cars.  Instead, we have blankets with sleeves.
3.  When chemists die, they barium.
4.   Childhood is like being drunk.  Everyone else remembers what you did, except for you.
5.  *I went up to the coal mine to give beer to the workers.  I was then immediately arrested for giving alcohol to miners.
6.  Age is nothing but a number?  FALSE.  Age is a word.
7.  My gas tank just went from zero to $50 in under a minute.
8.  College is a fountain of knowledge, and the students are there to drink.
9.  Scientists say that the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons.  They forgot to mention morons.
10.  A clean desk is usually the sign of a cluttered drawer.
11.  Be nice to your kids.  They'll choose your nursing home.
12.  Gravity always gets me down.
13.  A day without sunshine is like night.
14.  A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
15.  Do Transformers buy car insurance or life insurance?
16.  I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
17.  Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
18.  BREAKING NEWS:  Cartoonist found murdered;  Details are sketchy.
19.  It's a ten minute walk from my house to the bar.  Weirdly, it's a two hour walk from the bar back to my house.
20.  Dont't steal.  The government hates competition
21.  If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
22.  Did you hear about the murder mystery porno?  In the end it turns out everybody did it!
23.  We never really grow up.  We only learn how to act in public.
24.  BREAKING NEWS:  Police station toilet stolen;  Cops have nothing to go on.
25.  My cooking is so awesome that even the smoke alarm cheers me on.
26.  To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.  To steal from many is research.
27.  If my memory get's any worse I'll be able to plan my own surprise party.
28.  A bus station is where a bus stops.  A train station is where a train stops.  On my desk I have a work station...
29.  Avoid peer pressure.  Everybody's doing it!
30.  I discovered that I scream the same way whether a giant shark is about to devour me or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
31.  I used to be indecisive.  Now I'm not sure.
32.  IRS - We got what it takes to take what you got
33.  With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
34.  "The primary problem with quotes found on the Internet is that they are hardly ever accurate" - Abraham Lincoln
35.  Whether the glass is half empty or half full, either way it's time for another beer.
36.  To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
37.  How dare you incinerate that I don't know big words!
38.  It's recently been proven that people who have more birthdays tend to live longer.
39.  You're always welcome in the 'Show Me' state because Missouri loves company
40.  BREAKING NEWS:  Chicken found murdered;  Police suspect fowl play.
41.  Corduroy pillows...they're making headlines!
42.  Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.  Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
43.  The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.
44.  I've had amnesia for as long as I can remember.
45.  A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
46.  No, I don't want to come to your cat's birthday party, you freak.  Besides, my dog is getting married that weekend.
47.  Energizer Bunny arrested;  Charged with battery.
48. I see nothing but continued growth and expansion for the foreseeable future...but enough about my diet.
49. "Here's to our wives and our girlfriends...may they never meet!" - Groucho Marx
50. Eat right.  Stay fit.  Die anyway.
    
    Hope you enjoyed them!
    

REVIEW - 'Furious 6' (aka 'Fast & Furious 6')

'Furious 6' (PG-13) ***
Actually titled 'Furious 6' (yet advertised as 'Fast & Furious 6'), this is the sixth installment in the seemingly never ending movie series.  This time around, Hobbs (Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson) has Dom (Vin Diesel) and Brian (Paul Walker) reassemble their crew (Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, Sung Kang and Gal Gadot resprising their roles of Roman, Tej, Han and Gisele respectively) in order to take down a mastermind named Shaw (Luke Evans) who commands an organization of mercenary drivers across 12 countries. Payment? Full pardons for them all.  And among those in Shaw's organization is Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), who was thought to have died in the events during the fourth movie, 'Fast & Furious".

This isn't exactly gonna win any awards for it's acting or for it's well thought out and deep script.  But for everything it's going for, it mostly succeeds.  The action scenes are pretty impressive, over-the-top and thrilling, even if they do tend to go on and on and on.  The driving scenes are also fun and we even get a few street races this time around, even though the series itself has largely moved away from street racing to heist movies.  Often it's quite funny with the actors clearly having a blast working together again.  The villain is ruthless and a fun change of pace from the series usual villains consisting of drug dealers and gangsters.  My main gripe about the movie apart from the fact that it's the SIXTH movie in this franchise (a gripe I'll bring up later) is that it's too long.  No need for this to be over 2 hours long. 

I still wholeheartedly believe that there really shouldn't be SIX (soon to be SEVEN) 'Fast and Furious' movies.  For every sequel/remake/continuation/reboot/etc I always bring up my thoughts on the other movies so here they are, and it's just a little easier this around just to list them out:

'The Fast and The Furious' (2001) - I liked it.
'2 Fast 2 Furious' (2003) - Not as good as the first but still fun.
'The Fast and The Furious:  Tokyo Drift' (2006) - Tried something different and for the most part didnt have any of the characters from the other movies.  I remember liking it, but I haven't seen it in 7 years.
'Fast & Furious' (2009) - It's okay.
'Fast Five' (2011) - It's better than the 4th at least. 

Out of the sequels, 'Furious 6' is the best out of those.  The first 'Fast and Furious' movie remains the best.  And yes, there is going to be a seventh movie coming out July 2014.  And yes, there is a mid credits scene in this movie that teases the villain for the seventh movie and finally answers the age old question of where the events of 'Tokyo Drift' fits in all of this.

Overall, if you like the other movies I do recommend this.  If you haven't seen the others but are interested in over-the-top action scenes and funny dialogue, I'd still recommend it.  After all, the opening credits is a montage of scenes from 1,2,4 and 5 so you might not get too lost if you went into this without having seen the others.  But if it doesn't gauge your interest at all, well, go see 'Star Trek Into Darkness'.

REVIEW - 'Star Trek Into Darkness'

'Star Trek Into Darkness' (PG-13) ***1/2

After Starfleet Headquarters is attacked, Captain Kirk (Chris Pine) and the rest of the Enterprise crew including Mr. Spock (Zachary Quinto), Scotty (Simon Pegg), Sulu (John Cho), Dr. 'Bones' McCoy (Karl Urban) and Uhura (Zoe Saldana), go on a manhunt to a war-zone world to capture John Harrison (Benedict Cumberbatch), a one man weapon of mass destruction.

Now I should probably get this off my chest first:  I am NOT a Trekkie.  I've always been more of a 'Star Wars' guy.  I've seen some episodes of the original series and of 'Next Generation' but I've always thought that those were boring.  I didn't think they were bad by any means, I just couldn't really get into them.  I have seen some of the 'Star Trek' movies, but that will be later in this post.  But I did like the 2009 'Star Trek' movie.  It was a humorous, action-packed breath of fresh air to a franchise that I thought was stuffy and dry and primarily appealed only to it's fan base (to an extent), and with the approach to it I was eagerly awaiting its sequel. 

But what does this non-Trekkie think about the new 'Star Trek' movie?  I thought it was really good and a lot of fun.  There was plenty of action and great special effects.  It has several suspenseful moments and plenty of twists and turns in the last half of the movie.  It's also quite funny, livening up situations and character exchanges with witty banter and one-liners.  The actors fill the rather iconic roles quite well, although the main standout amongst the cast is Benedict Cumberbatch ('War Horse', 'The Hobbit' trilogy, the recent BBC show 'Sherlock') as the villain.  Cunning, intelligent, creepy, and a sinster voice to boot, it's a really intense performance.  Some actual Trekkies might get a little upset with some of the twists and turns and direct references to certain previous 'Star Trek' movies, but none of that bothered me at all.  Afterall, the previous 'Star Trek' movie had established that this is an alternate timeline from the TV series and movies, so the J.J. Abrams and the writers literally could do whatever they want with whatever character they please.  Well, J.J. Abrams will soon be moving on to 'Star Wars Episode VII', so hopefully whoever is picked to do the inevitable 'Star Trek 3' will continue the pace set by Abrams & Co.

So as a stand alone movie it's really good, but how does it compare to the other 'Star Trek' movies?  Well, I haven't seen all of those.  I've only seen 'Wrath of Khan' (I liked it), 'Search For Spock' (Also liked it), 'First Contact' (Also liked it, easily the best of the 'Next Generation' movies), 'Insurrection' (didn't like it, felt more like an extended episode of the show), 'Nemesis' (didn't like it all, just not a good movie), and the 2009 reboot 'Star Trek' (I liked it for the most part).  'Into Darkness' is better than it's predecessor, and honestly it's the best 'Star Trek' movie I've seen.  But as I've said before I'm not exactly a Trekkie, so you can take it however you want. 

Like most other movies nowadays this is available in 3D (Thanks 'Avatar').  Today I had the option of 2D, 3D, and IMAX 3D.  I opted for 2D, since I saw the previous one in 2D and I think 3D live action movies don't really work all that well.  Most of the time while watching a live action movie in 3D nothing really happens that could merit the need for 3D (apart from extra box office profits) so it ends up feeling like your watching a 2D movie with funny glasses.  Now, having seen this in 2D, there were a few things that would've looked cool in 3D, such as whenever the Enterprise enters warp, or whenever we're watching something in outer space and not on a planet or starship.  It was fine in 2D, but I suppose if you REALLY WANT TO see it in 3D, go ahead.  But consider this:  It wasn't filmed in 3D, it was post-converted.  So there ya go. 

Overall, whether you are a Trekkie like my eldest brother and grandfather, or a non-Trekkie like me, there is plenty to like about 'Star Trek Into Darkness'.  Action-packed, funny, good performances, a great villain, and great special effects. 

Jake eats stuff!!

Doing something a little different for this blog post, in which I try 2 of the 3 new flavors of Lay's chips that they created for their flavor contest.  I'm not exactly a food expert and I'm the pickiest person I know, so for these posts I'm simply going to break them down into 'Smell', 'Taste', and my overall reaction.  Why only 2 of 3?  Well by the time I was finally able to get more than 1 of the flavors, the contest ended.  So at this point they're simply getting rid of excess product for Sriracha and Chicken & Waffle flavored chips and re-releasing Cheesy Garlic Bread at some point in the near future.  Luckily, Cheesy Garlic Bread is the only one I haven't had so I'll deal with it when it's been re-released.  But enough about the winning flavor, on with the two losing flavors!



Flavor #1) - Chicken & Waffles
Chicken and Waffles flavored chips?  That's either pure madness or pure genius.  On the blue bag there is a picture of a Fried Chicken leg and two waffles, drenched in syrup with a slice of butter on top.  Sure those items alone sound good together, but I'm not completely sure how those would translate into a flavor for a potato chip.  Let's see how this goes.

SMELL - Opening the bag and smelling the air that makes up the top half of any bag of chips, at first all I smelled was just the usual stereotypical potato chip smell.  A few more whiffs and I was able to detect a buttery-syrupy smell, so on the onset at least they've succeeded in the 'Waffles' part.  I was not able to smell anything that remotely smelled like chicken.  Perhaps they should've added a certain 11 herbs and spices into these...

TASTE -  A nice crunch to them.  The first chip I had from the bag had some flavoring but not a whole lot.  Since I couldn't get much from that first chip I chowed down on several more.  The 'Chicken' flavor finally decided to show up, though it wasn't much.  Merely tasted like a chicken meat seasoning that's been put onto a potato chip.  Chewing more and more brought out more of a buttery flavor than what the smell implied, with some sweetness from the 'syrup' also showing up.  Despite the flavors, there really isn't much of an after taste.  My mouth just feels like I ate some chips.  No specific flavoring of chips, just plain ol' potato chips.

OVERALL - Perhaps it was because I had low expectations, but overall I didn't think these chips were bad at all.  I mean I wouldn't buy more bags of this particular flavor, but I can see myself finishing up the bag sometime.  It is a different flavored chip than what I'm used to, and I do give Lay's credit for trying, and partially succeeding, at creating a potato chip that tasted like chicken and waffles. 



Flavor #2) - Sriracha

From what I could read from Wikipedia, Sriracha is a hot sauce from Thailand.  At least a hot sauce-flavored chip makes a little bit more sense than a Chicken & Waffles flavored chip.  And there have been other Hot-flavored chips before from other brands, so Sriracha as a flavor doesn't sound too out of the ordinary.  

SMELL -Opening the bag, it definitely had a Hot Barbeque-like smell.  I really don't have much more to add apart from that. 

TASTE - I have not had actual Sriracha, so I can't really compare it to the real thing.  Munching on some chips, it just tastes like a spicier version of a glorified barbeque potato chip.  The heat does linger in the mouth for a little bit.  Some spicy aftertaste as well.

OVERALL - I didn't really have any expectations going into this.  A hot sauce flavored chip.  As long as it's crunchy and as long as there's some heat to them, I'll be fine.  And you know what?  I liked it.  The chips had a good crunch, good flavor, and definitely had some heat to them.  Much better than the Chicken & Waffle flavored chips.  If this was the flavor that had won the contest I'd be perfectly fine with that.  But at the same time there's plenty of other potato chips on the market that already have a spicy flavor to them.  



And like I said earlier, I'll do the Cheesy Garlic Bread flavor when it's been rolled out in stores again.  I might find a few other foods or drinks that I'm willing to try to throw in there as well.  Might get some pictures next time as well.

REVIEW - 'The Great Gatsby'

'The Great Gatsby' (PG-13) **3/4

The Great American Novel (and Great American SparkNotes) that I kinda read in high school and will be reading again soon.  Nick Carraway (Tobey Maguire) has entered into a sanitarium, and soon starts recollecting to his doctor and starts writing down about when he moved out east and became entranced by the lifestyle of and involved in the dealings of his mysterious wealthy neighbor Jay Gatsby (Leonardo DiCaprio).  Nick also becomes an observer in a plot that involves his mysterious neighbor, but also Gatsby's former love Daisy Buchanan (Carey Mulligan, from 'Drive', 'Wall Street:  Money Never Sleeps', and 'An Education') who happens to be Nick's cousin, her husband Tom (Joel Edgerton, from 'Warrior' and 'Star Wars Episode II'), Tom's mistress Myrtle (Isla Fisher, from 'Wedding Crashers') and Myrtle's husband George (Jason Clarke, from 'Lawless' and 'Zero Dark Thirty')

I haven't seen any other version of 'Great Gatsby', so I can't really compare this to any of those.  But comparing this to the book (and to the SparkNotes), the movie is fairly faithful to the source material.  The movie is visually fantastic.  The cast does a fairly good job of playing the characters and acting of the time period in which the movie is set, but the main performance I have to point out is Leonardo DiCaprio as Jay Gatsby.  It's a great performance and in my opinion one of his better roles, up there with the evil plantation owner Calvin Candie in 'Django Unchained' and as Dom Cobb in 'Inception'.  

But there are some things that just didnt really work for me.  Towards the beginning of the movie the dialogue felt fast-paced, clunky, forced, and unnatural.  Eventually this problem faded and everything sounded more natural.  Another was the soundtrack.  As the commercials and trailers have suggested, this does have a hip-hop/rap soundtrack that accompanies the various party scenes at Gatsby's.  Heck, Jay-Z is even an executive producer for the movie.  While I can understand to a extent why hip-hop/rap was placed in the movie as a way to connect the fame/excess/party scene of today to how it was in the Roaring 20's, it just felt out of place and awkward.  I don't mind music that's anachronistic (which will be brought up later) provide it that just flows well.  The last main criticism I have is the length of the movie, clocking in at 2 hours, 23 minutes.  Some scenes could have been cut down a little bit, and after going through the chopping block it would still be a solid movie at around 2 hours, maybe a little bit over.

This was directed by Baz Luhrmann, who also directed 'Romeo + Juliet' (also starring DiCaprio), 'Moulin Rouge!', and 'Australia'.  Out of those I've only seen 'Moulin Rouge!', and just like in that movie (as stated earlier), 'Gatsby' is great to look at.  It fully does look and feel like a stylized version of the Roaring 20's.  And turning the tables a little bit, 'Moulin Rouge!' also has anachronistic music, but it flows well.  'Moulin Rouge!' is a musical set in the late 1890s in Paris, yet such songs like 'The Sound of Music', 'Like A Virgin', 'Roxanne', 'Lady Marmalade', 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' and even 'All You Need Is Love' all pop up in it at some point.  Why do I feel that 'Moulin Rouge!' can get away with it and not 'Gatsby'?  I guess it just falls under if I felt that it worked or not for me.  Random songs from random genres being blended together in a musical works better for me than rap music in a movie about the 1920's.  Though with a theme of the movie being a perversion of the American Dream I suppose rap could fit under that...if it wasn't set in the 1920's.

I saw this in 2D, and it still looked fantastic.  Most 3D movies in 2D have at least some things that still try and pop out on the screen to show that this was meant for 3D, and to an extent 'Gatsby' is no exception.  At times in Nick's narration words taken directly from the book pop up on screen as they are being spoken, and the parties and fireworks could look cool in 3D, but they were perfectly fine in 2D.  Do I feel like I should have seen it in 3D?  No.  It was perfectly fine in 2D, and something like 'The Great Gatsby' doesn't need to be in 3D.  Or have rap music.

Overall old sport, the movie has great visuals, an out-of-place soundtrack and a great performance from DiCaprio.  I recommend it to anyone who is at least familiar with the book, or if you're just a fan of Leonardo DiCaprio.