Thursday, June 5, 2014

Movie Nitpicks - Volume III (SPOILERS)

It's time for Volume III of my 'Movie Nitpicks'.  Today I have nitpicks from 'Maleficent', 'The Amazing Spider-Man 2', 'The Lego Movie', and 'X-Men:  Days of Future Past'.  Obviously these contain spoilers from the movie, so read at your own discretion.  If you've seen them, by all means read this list.  If you haven't seen them or haven't seen all of them, you might want to wait until you see the movies.  If you couldn't care less about spoilers, by all means go ahead. 

  • 'Maleficent'
    So my main nitpicks have to deal with the changes that this movie made from the original 'Sleeping Beauty'
    1. In this version of the tale the titular character, who's name means "doing evil or harm; harmfully malicious", is the good guy.  She's also constantly looking out for Aurora, and evens hangs out with her once she becomes a teenager.  Yep.  The so-called 'Mistress of all Evil' cares for Aurora.
    2. So Disney continues with the variation of the "True Love's Kiss" cliche by having Maleficent, not Prince Phillip, be the one whose kiss wakes Aurora up.  This moment is one of the few times where I said "No" in the theater after an event happened that I just couldn't buy.  
    3. You know...instead of leaving Aurora with three extremely inept fairies, wouldn't it have been easier just to raise her in the castle and then send her into hiding for the week of her 16th birthday? Just sayin'....

  • 'The Amazing Spider-Man 2'
    1. It's discovered that OSCORP is literally behind every Spider-Man villain EVER!!!  No, seriously:
                -Looking back real quick at the first 'Amazing Spider-Man', Dr. Curt Conners was working on a serum to regenerate limbs and soon becomes The Lizard.  Who does he work for?  OSCORP. 
               -In 'Amazing Spider-Man 2', Max Dillon is fixing a cable when he falls into a vat of electric eels and becomes Electro.  Who does he work for and who tries to cover it up?  OSCORP. 
              -Harry Osbourne gets the Green Goblin suit and glider from a basement at OSCORP.
              -This basement also coincidentally houses Vulture's metal wings, Doc Ock's metal arms and the Rhino suit (which is given to Alexei at the end of 'Amazing Spider-Man 2'). 
             -Felicia Hardy, who is Harry Osbourne's assistant at OSCORP in 'Amazing Spider-Man 2', becomes the antiheroine Black Cat in the comics. 

      It just seems awfully convenient and really lazy having OSCORP be the evil company behind all of these villains.  Gee, they're almost churning out villains the same way Rita Repulsa and Finster did in 'Mighty Morphin Power Rangers'.  Seriously.  



  • 'The Lego Movie'
    1. So the climax of the movie features the revelation that the whole movie is basically about a kid playing with his dad's Lego sets, and his dad wanting those sets to be glued together and not be touched.  As soon as the main Lego character Emmett realizes this, is can it be assumed that the kid is imagining that Emmett suddenly realizes that he's a toy?  And if so, when Emmett is placed on a table, how is it that Emmett can just move himself off of the table?



  • 'X-Men:  Days of Future Past'
    Now look.  The 'X-Men' franchise already has the worst continuity of any franchise I've seen.  But the latest movie takes the continuity problems (and story problems, and logic problems) to a whole new level.  These nitpicks are in no particular order, and some of them also deal with the other 'X-Men' movies as they "relate" to 'Days of Future Past'
    1. So at the end of 'The Wolverine', Wolverine's adamantium claws were chopped off by the Silver Samurai.  The claws grew back because of Wolverine's healing abilities, but they were just ordinary claws with no adamantium.  In the opening scene of 'Days of Future Past', the adamantium is back on his claws.  Wait...what?
    2. So because of the time travel plot and the now alternate timeline, this movie essentially erases 'X-Men', 'X2', 'X-Men:  The Last Stand', 'X-Men Origins:  Wolverine' and 'The Wolverine'.  Flashbacks acknowledged that they happened, but by the time 'Days of Future Past' is over POOF they don't really matter anymore.  Sure 2009's 'Star Trek' did the same thing, but it did it better and it actually made sense.  Besides, alternate timelines already happen all the time in 'Star Trek' lore. 
    3. So in the 1970s, Hank McCoy/Beast has developed a serum that allows him to control his mutation.  But apparently this serum just turns him into another version of the Incredible Hulk as whenever Hank McCoy gets angry he turns into Beast.  Umm....I thought Beasts' mutation couldn't be controlled?
    4. Also, this serum is also given to Charles Xavier.  Not only does it take his mutation away, but it also heals his paralysis from 'First Class'.  Wait....what?? Since his paralysis is due to a physical injury and has nothing to do with his mutation, he shouldn't be able to suddenly walk again once the serum kicks in!!
    5. While we're on Professor X nitpicks, how is he even alive in the future segments of this movie?  He gets obliterated in 'X-Men:  The Last Stand' but by the end of that movie we see that his conscious was put in a different body.  Apparently the cop-out answer to that problem is that he put his mind in his brain dead twin brother's body....a twin brother which has never been mentioned at all in any of the movies.  But even if you buy that excuse then why is he still using a wheelchair at the end of 'The Wolverine' and in the future segments of this movie?
    6. So in 'First Class' it's established that Professor X and Mystique grew up with each other, which Professor X acknowledges in both the past and future segments of this movie.  Yet this comes out of nowhere from the future Professor X because him growing up with Mystique is never mentioned at all in the original trilogy.
    7. So okay.  In the "original timeline", once Mystique kills Bolivar Trask she is captured, tortured, and experimented on to help advance the Sentinels to hunt down mutants.  Considering that Trask himself said that they needed Mystique's blood, brain tissue, and spinal fluid, how on Earth is she alive in the original 'X-Men' trilogy??
    8. Once the experimentation of Mystique is complete, the Sentinels can now adapt to mutant attacks, not only mimicking them but also creating counter attacks against them.  But this doesn't make sense considering that Mystique is only a shapeshifter.  Sure she can change her appearance, but she can't mimic other powers or counter attack to other mutant attacks.
    9. When his future consciousness is sent back to 1973, Wolverine wakes up in a hotel next to a mafia boss' daughter who he was suppose to protect.  In 'X-Men Origins' Wolverine was in Vietnam in 1973 fighting in the Vietnam War...
    10. Stryker in this movie is portrayed by Josh Helman and looks to be in his late 20s/early 30s in 1973.  Stryker in 'X-Men:  Origins' is portrayed by Danny Huston and looks to be in his mid to late 40s...in 1975 when he first meets Wolverine at the end of the Vietnam War.  Hmm....somethings not adding up here folks...
    11. While it was one of the few cool scenes in the movie, breaking Magneto out of the Pentagon was completely pointless.  I mean he's broken out of the Pentagon because Wolverine believes that with Professor X and Magneto together again, they can better persuade Mystique to not kill Bolivar Trask.  Well....Magneto ends up wanting to kill Mystique to save all of the mutants, later on threatens President Nixon and in the same scene has multiple television cameras pointed at himself, telling the viewing audience how mutants are dangerous, should be feared, and he will prove it by assassinating Nixon.  If anything that would escalate the need for the Sentinels to go after mutants.  A bit counter productive if you ask me.  
    12. In regards to the future segments....when did Professor X and Magneto suddenly become best friends again?  If memory serves me right they tried teaming up in 'X2' and that didn't exactly work out too well...
    13. In the original timeline the Sentinels were being developed in the 70's.  Then how is is they aren't mentioned at all in the first two 'X-Men' movies?  They are briefly mentioned in 'Last Stand' and 'Wolverine', but that's it. 
    14. Also, Trask seems to change skin color and height.  In 'X-Men:  The Last Stand', the character known only as Trask is portrayed by Bill Duke, a 6'4" actor who is African American.  In the movie he's only known as Trask, but promotional materials for the movie and Bryan Singer himself confirmed that he is indeed Bolivar Trask.  In this movie, he's portrayed by Peter Dinklage, a 4'5" actor who is white.  Bryan Singer himself commented on this error by simply saying that he hopes the audience will forget about it.  Nice try Mr. Singer. 
    15. So this movie presents another Kennedy assassination theory that's actually about as legitimate as all of the other Kennedy assassination theories out there.  The reason why Magneto is being held in the Pentagon is because he was the one who killed JFK.  The only reason why people know this apparently is because the bullet curved.  Magneto's defense is that he wasn't trying to kill JFK, he was trying to save JFK because "He's one of us".  That's right people:  JFK was a mutant!!  As soon as that line was said during the movie I said "What?" to myself. 
    16. I was paying attention to this movie....but I couldn't tell you who half of the mutants were outside of the more recognizable mutants.  The opening scene that had four new mutants helping Iceman and Kitty Pryde in the warehouse?  No idea who any of them were, nor were there names mentioned at all except for Bishop.  And I only knew who he was because people kept saying 'Bishop'.  The mutants who Mystique rescues from Stryker's clutches in Vietnam?  Outside of Toad, I didn't know who any of them were.  I only knew who those characters were while reading about them online after I saw the movie.  It's hard to get invested in characters that you don't really know.
    17. So back to Magneto in the Pentagon.  In the original timeline, how did he escape?  Considering that Mystique was being held by Trask Industries to be experimented on and his other followers were killed as a result of being experimented on by Trask himself....who else is left to bust him out? 
    18. Towards the end of the movie, Magneto rips the safe room out of the White House. The safe room contains President Nixon, Bolivar Trask, Secret Service men, and a disguised Mystique.  At one point Mystique disguises herself as President Nixon and steps out towards Magneto, and actually talks with him for a little while.  BUT.....you know....wouldn't Bolivar Trask or any of the Secret Service men have realized that President Nixon is still sitting in his chair right by them and NOT out in the open talking to Magneto? 
    19. While examining drops of Mystique's blood from the assassination attempt, Bolivar Trask admits that he admires mutants.  But he also wants to kill all of them so that mankind can survive.  Because that makes total sense.  
    20. At the end of the movie in the 1970s Mystique, disguised as Stryker, rescues Wolverine from the river.  This raises a whole host of questions, such as where is the real Stryker?  If Mystique is Stryker, then how does Wolverine get involved with Weapon X and get his adamantium skeleton? 
    21. I know a lot of people were excited about the stinger at the end of the credits that showed Apocalypse being worshipped by Egyptians while he was building a pyramid with the Four Horsemen looking on.  I wasn't one of them.  I couldn't tell if Apocalypse was a boy or a girl.  And when it was revealed that Apocalypse was building a pyramid using telekinesis.....I just thought that that was the dumbest thing I had seen in an 'X-Men' movie since the Silver Samurai was draining Wolverine's powers through his claws in 'The Wolverine'. 

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